Third-Life Alignment: The Infographic

Jul 25, 2016

The Third-Life Alignment Process

The last six months have found me totally immersed in my work with women going through their Third-Life Alignment


Pattern-recognition is a bit of a superpower of mine, and so you can imagine how thrilled I was to discover that so many of the people I coach with and support in birth are going through very much the same experience.  In my past life as a qualitative researcher, I would have given my right arm for such clear-cut, consistently consistent data around people’s experiences.

If you’re new to my work around the Alignment process, have a look at these two articles, which really outline the process in detail.  I wanted to create this infographic to describe the process visually, and to share a couple of developing patterns that I’m noticing as I continue my work.

It begins with a catalyzing moment or circumstance (like becoming a mother, feeling career disillusionment, or navigating health challenges, for example).  This triggers a cascade of Big Questions that revolve around the Biggest Question:  “Who Am I?”

You see, fundamentally, the Third-Life Alignment is a re-alignment, a rediscovery of identity.


As women go through the Assessment, Exploration and Courage / Surrender phases, they find themselves doing things that both create the change they desire in their lives and integrate that change.  This is where the pieces around self-care, balance, sharing their transition with family and friends, tapping into intuition and location a supportive community come in.

When women’s lives are more in alignment with their values, desired ways of being in the world, and potential, they have a distinct sense of Becoming Who They Are.

Do elements of this process resonate with you?  What changes are you experiencing in your life right now?

The Becoming Podcast has been on a short hiatus while I focus on writing my book, but oh what a comeback episode I have for you!

This month, I spoke to Toko-pa Turner, who many of you may know as the unofficial patron saint of many of my circles and gatherings because of the sheer number of times I’ve quoted from the wisdom of her book, Belonging.

Toko-pa is a Canadian author, teacher, and dreamworker. Blending the mystical teachings of Sufism in which she was raised with a Jungian approach to dreams, she founded The Dream School in 2001, from which thousands of students have graduated. She is the author of the award-winning book, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home, which explores the themes of exile and belonging through the lens of dreams, mythology, and nature. This book has resonated for readers worldwide, and has been translated into 10 different languages so far. Her work focuses on the relationship between psyche and nature, and how to follow our inner wisdom to meet with the social, psychological, and ecological challenges of our time.

Here’s some of what Toko-pa and I talk about in this episode:

> The dream that changed Toko-pa’s life, causing her to question her career and, ultimately, her identity

> How we can court our dreams to support us during times of radical transformation – and the reasons so many of us have a hard time remembering and working with what shows up in our dreamscape

> Toko-pa’s perspective on the message of Belonging after the divisiveness our society has experienced in the years since it was published

> What happened for both Toko-pa and I when we fell out of belonging from the ideologies of the “wellness world”

> How to build community when you’re under-resourced

> “The Big Lie” when it comes to belonging, and how we can reclaim a sense of belonging to the greater family of things, as Mary Oliver so famously wrote

Listen to the episode on iTunes


Show Notes

Toko-pa’s Website

Belonging:  Remembering Ourselves Home, Toko-pa’s book

The David Abram video about animism mentioned in the interview

Toko-pa’s self-guided program, Dream Drops

Companion, the program that accompanies Belonging


Also, while you’re at it, if you enjoy The Becoming Podcast, I would be so grateful if you would rate and review, and even subscribe to it on iTunes.  That goes a long way to helping more and more people find and benefit from hearing these interviews!  Thank you so much!