The Change That Changes Everything

Jun 19, 2018

You may have noticed

 

that everything around here has changed.

 

I have put Nalumana, the former name of my company, quietly to rest

and I am stepping into this work

just me

ME.

 

I can’t say what propelled my decision

but a great number of changes to my work and the way I think about my work started in the beginning of this year.

 

I wanted to claim a sense of depth and mastery in my work this year.  I wanted what I offered to have significance, but also to simplify my work and find ease in how I do what I do.

 

thought I knew what might be in store when I set those intentions,

but I was wrong.

 

I don’t often share what happens behind the scenes in my business.

 

But I know a great many women with thriving businesses or entrepreneurial aspirations who might be reading this, and that many women I coach with end up starting businesses as a result of our work together.  I know that I couldn’t have made these decisions for my work if my own friends and mentors hadn’t been candid about making similar choices, offering me a sort of permission, or social proof, that I could do so myself.

And so here I am, sharing with you.

 

Here’s what’s new:

 

–>  Changing my business name has shifted the energy in the way I approach my work subtly but significantly.  I feel as though I’ve come home to myself in a way.  I’m no longer the employee of a company called Nalumana.

A part of me feels a deep permission to just. be. me.

 

–>  I’ve found the confidence to fully claim parts of me that have been dancing around the edges of my work.

I’m letting my inner feminist fly.  I’m releasing the writer within me.

These are both aspects of my self and my work that I am giving a lot more air time with this new iteration of my website and my work.

I’m claiming my expertise.  

I’ve invested in a significant amount of training to be able to offer what I offer, and have been doing some of this work for over a decade.  My inner nerd spends hours poring over books and theories that help me better support both my birthing mamas and coaching clients alike, and I’m ready to showcase that part of myself and my ability.

 

–>  I’ve changed the way I talk about the work I do with women.  For the last three and a half years, I’ve held that the underlying motivation beneath my coaching and doula work has been about supporting women in transition.

As a way to honour depth and mastery in my work this year, I dove even deeper into the observations I’ve made over my time working with women, and also into the adult development psychology literature, as well as into the wisdom of neuroscience, mythology and feminist theory.  I’ve developed a woman-centred theory of change and an accompanying coaching methodology that supports my clients in a way that is (I think!) completely revolutionary, and more attuned to the complexities in their lives and in the conditions of modern-day womanhood than the models created (ahem…by old white guys) and taught in most coaching and psychology trainings (I’m working on a video to release later in the summer that explains it all!).

One of the most exciting parts of this work has been the realization that I’m not just here to support women through “change,”  or “transition,” I’m here to support them through modern-day rites of passage into womanhood and motherhood.

 

–>  I’m not as interested in talking about the concept of alignment anymore. In the shift into Just Me, I realized that I was striving for alignment, as if it were actually something outside of myself, or something different than I am in this very moment.  Sometimes you don’t realize how something affects you until it doesn’t anymore: I realized that I was not offering myself as much compassion as I should have been when I was feeling misaligned in my day-to-day life, because I was subconsciously making that mean that I could not help others to feel more aligned themselves.

I want to talk instead about coming home to yourself.  About becoming home to yourself (I am working on a whole new resource to help you consider doing the same…stay tuned!).

 

–>  I’m doing less.  Okay, yeah.  I’m still doing a lot.  Especially for someone who actually doesn’t work during “business hours” because I care for my children full-time.  But I’ve decided to scale back on a few things.

This has brought me to the decision to archive Nalu Cafe, at least for now.  This space has been a beautiful community to share and learn with, and I want to continue those conversations with the committed and engaged community of people who are subscribed to my email list.  Once a week, I will send out a Nourishing Note to this community, and once a month, I will be offering subscribers a small gift – maybe a webinar, or a virtual women’s circle, or a guided meditation…whatever suits my fancy.  If you’re not on the mailing list and want to receive these things, click on the image at the end of this post to sign up.

 

–>  I’m charging more.  I have not talked about this very much, but here it is:  after a bit of research, I realized I was charging between 10-20% of market value for my coaching services.  The dark side is this:  I just started paying myself (for the first time in three years of doing business) in January.  I’ve been paying myself approximately half of what is considered a poverty line wage – about $5 an hour.  Part of this is the reality of owning a small business (yes, even online businesses carry a fair amount of overhead), but also, my inner feminist is ALL RILED UP.

You’ll never see me carrying on about how I became a six figure coach (what’s that all about anyway?).  In fact, part of the reason my family and I downsized our home was so that we didn’t have to make as much money to live the kind of life we want to live.

But I do want to pay my bills.  And right now, I’m not.  Not even close.  I’m doing a significant amount of uncompensated work, and I’m skidding toward burnout quick fast.

It’s time to make a change.

In the coaching side of my business, I am committing even more deeply to my desire to work with women in a long-term, transformational way.  I have become completely uninterested in the “coaching status quo,” which often involves creating superficial change with to-do lists, accountability measures and waving pom-poms.  I am not an overpaid cheerleader.

And so along with my fee increase has come a significant increase in the depth, breadth and duration of the support I provide, so that I can lead my clients into the kind of shift that is deeply meaningful and sustainable.

I know that this means there will be many people who can’t fit my 1:1 services into their budget.  I also know that when they do decide it’s possible to work together, both they and I will show up in a wholehearted and committed way.

I’ve also spent an enormous amount of time and money over the past three years offering free stuff.  It’s time for me to minimize this, and honour that myself and my family need to benefit financially from my work, and that I can be of service without throwing myself and my own needs under the bus.

I am thrilled to still be offering online programs, seasonal women’s circles, Sacred Pregnancy retreats and reWILD retreats, all of which are a great way to work with me at a lower price point.

 

–>  My creativity has been ignited.

As many of you know, I have written a book, whose fate as to a traditional publishing deal or self-publishing is soon to be decided.  I also have a new online program in the coffers that I’m fairly sure is going to totally rock your world.  Do please stay tuned.

 

I’m not sure why, but writing all this has made me feel like I’ve forgotten to wear pants to the grocery store.

But also, what has happened for me and the way I am showing up in my work feels like a great unveiling (like, in the good way, not the forgotten pants way).

I guess what I want to say is

Thank you for being here.  For always reading. For being who I write for, and who I do this work for. Because this work is not just shaping you, it’s shaping me, too.

The Becoming Podcast has been on a short hiatus while I focus on writing my book, but oh what a comeback episode I have for you!

This month, I spoke to Toko-pa Turner, who many of you may know as the unofficial patron saint of many of my circles and gatherings because of the sheer number of times I’ve quoted from the wisdom of her book, Belonging.

Toko-pa is a Canadian author, teacher, and dreamworker. Blending the mystical teachings of Sufism in which she was raised with a Jungian approach to dreams, she founded The Dream School in 2001, from which thousands of students have graduated. She is the author of the award-winning book, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home, which explores the themes of exile and belonging through the lens of dreams, mythology, and nature. This book has resonated for readers worldwide, and has been translated into 10 different languages so far. Her work focuses on the relationship between psyche and nature, and how to follow our inner wisdom to meet with the social, psychological, and ecological challenges of our time.

Here’s some of what Toko-pa and I talk about in this episode:

> The dream that changed Toko-pa’s life, causing her to question her career and, ultimately, her identity

> How we can court our dreams to support us during times of radical transformation – and the reasons so many of us have a hard time remembering and working with what shows up in our dreamscape

> Toko-pa’s perspective on the message of Belonging after the divisiveness our society has experienced in the years since it was published

> What happened for both Toko-pa and I when we fell out of belonging from the ideologies of the “wellness world”

> How to build community when you’re under-resourced

> “The Big Lie” when it comes to belonging, and how we can reclaim a sense of belonging to the greater family of things, as Mary Oliver so famously wrote

Listen to the episode on iTunes

 

Show Notes

Toko-pa’s Website

Belonging:  Remembering Ourselves Home, Toko-pa’s book

The David Abram video about animism mentioned in the interview

Toko-pa’s self-guided program, Dream Drops

Companion, the program that accompanies Belonging

 

Also, while you’re at it, if you enjoy The Becoming Podcast, I would be so grateful if you would rate and review, and even subscribe to it on iTunes.  That goes a long way to helping more and more people find and benefit from hearing these interviews!  Thank you so much!