The Becoming Podcast – Season 4; Episode 8: Molly Millwood on normalizing matrescence, how to survive the “baby bomb” in your intimate partnership, and reclaiming the power of postpartum

Sep 1, 2022


Welcome to Season 4, Episode 8 of The Becoming Podcast!


I’m really excited to bring you my conversation with Molly Millwood, Ph.D., today.

Molly’s book, To Have and To Hold:  Motherhood, Marriage and the Modern Dilemma, is, hands down, one of the best books on matrescence and maternal mental health that I’ve ever read….and I’ve definitely read them ALL.  We share so many perspectives on this rite of passage in women’s lives that I knew I had to have her on the show, and our time together definitely did not disappoint.

First, let me tell you a little bit about Molly.  She is a licensed psychologist, author, speaker, singer-songwriter, mother, wife, and devoted advocate for women’s mental health and wellbeing.  She holds a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Montana and completed a postdoctoral fellowship at Stanford University Medical Center.  After balancing (or more accurately, never quite balancing) an academic career with a part-time psychotherapy practice for over 15 years, Molly now practices therapy full time.  She works with adult individuals and couples, helping women rediscover themselves within the metamorphosis of motherhood and helping couples of all sorts improve their relational health.


If you are a mother – especially if you’re a mother in the first few years of your mothering journey, this episode is for you.  Here are some of the things that Molly and I talked about:

>  The idea of losing yourself in motherhood, and Molly’s personal experience of that….and also the opposite:  of unearthing and reclaiming parts of herself after she became a mother that she didn’t realize she had lost.

> Both Molly and I share our own stories of connecting with a deeply creative part of ourselves in motherhood.

> What the “modern dilemma” is and how Molly believes mothering is harder now than it has ever been.

> Postpartum mental health, the postpartum depression paradox and normalizing the challenging aspects of matrescence.

> The double-edged sword of social media for new mothers, the “mask of motherhood” and performative vulnerability.

> The challenges that our intimate partnerships face when a baby arrives, how parenting widens the gender gap and is often hardest for people who’ve strived for equality in their relationships.


I hope you enjoy listening to this episode as much as I enjoyed speaking with Molly.  We had an instant connection over so many shared ideas, which is obvious in this super-delightful conversation.  Mamas, get ready to feel a lot less alone and a lot more normal.



Listen to the episode on iTunes



Show Notes…


Molly’s Website

Molly’s Instagram

To Have and To Hold:  Motherhood, Marriage and the Modern Dilemma

MotherSHIFT – my matrescence support program for new mothers

The Village – my matrescence apprenticeship program for postpartum professionals

The Mask of Motherhood:  How becoming a mother changes our lives and why we never talk about it by Susan Maushart

Fair Play by Eve Rodsky


Also, while you’re at it, if you enjoy The Becoming Podcast, I would be so grateful if you would rate and review, and even subscribe to it on iTunes.  That goes a long way to helping more and more people find and benefit from hearing these interviews!  Thank you so much!

If you are a new mother, or you are a professional who works with new mothers, you’ll want to know that registration for the 2022 Season of MotherSHIFT and The Village is NOW OPEN.


MotherSHIFT is a 3-month matrescence support program for new (or new-ish) mothers.  The OG matrescence program, MotherSHIFT has been supporting women through the transition to motherhood with mentorship + coaching, women’s circles and personal practice interwoven with ritual, creative prompts and meaningful self-care for the last seven years.  Find out more by clicking on the image below:

The Village is a 3-month matrescence apprenticeship program for postpartum professionals and others who want to deepen their capacity to support women through the transition into motherhood.   Through mentorship, coaching, and weekly Village circles interwoven with personal reflection and practice, this program will teach you the art and science of mothering the mother with a research-backed, practitioner-proven map to the as-yet uncharted territory of matrescence.  Find out more by clicking on the image below: