The topic of self care comes up all the time in my coaching practice, my doula practice, and in my own personal life.
Somehow, it always seems miraculously surprising, both to myself and to my clients, that the first step in feeling like a centred, connected mother, or launching a brave new business, or relating more deeply to your partner, is almost always self-care. No matter what clients come for support with – from breastfeeding to streamlining their work flow – usually one of my first questions is
“What does your self care look like right now?”
Why is this, anyways?
I think, to put it simply, if a little metaphysically, we need energy to do everything we do. It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about nuts-and-bolts nutritional energy or the harder-to-grasp psychic energy that allows us to feel calm in the middle of the various storms raging around us in our lives. If you’re expending more energy than you’re taking in you’re fucked. You’re starving yourself of the vital life force you need to survive.
I had a fascinating conversation about this with a group of wise women a couple months back. We all nodded our heads and murmured things about hot baths, meditating in the mornings, and finally getting around to having that girls night.
And, as you can guess, that murmuring was followed up swiftly with the next murmurings we all recite so often: if only I had the time; just an hour to myself is all I’d need…maybe my partner could take the kids and I could pump a bottle and the neighbour could walk the dog and I could bake some muffins to make sure they had something to snack on and…and…and….
And just like that, self-care turns into a monumental challenge.
Let’s do ourselves a huge favour, and explore resilient self-care.
Resilient self care is the kind that you can do right now, in the eye of the hurricane, that makes you feel centred and calmed, strong and loved.
It’s not to say that more involved rituals of self-care aren’t important, but that doing something is better than nothing.
What could you do right now that fills your cup? Maybe you close your eyes and take ten deep breaths. Maybe you have a mantra that you can repeat that feels reassuring and loving. Maybe you have a physical reminder to yourself, like a piece of rose quartz in your pocket or a mala around your neck, that, when touched, invites the possibility of peace, surrender, and slowing the heck down.