How To Do An Alignment Cleanse

Mar 14, 2017


When I write and talk with women about finding more alignment in their lives, the conversation often shifts to Some Pretty Big Stuff.


“I’m feeling out of alignment in my current job…I want to start a business of my own.”

“I’m feeling out of alignment in my self-care…but I struggle with finding the sense of self-worth to put myself before my family.”

“I’m feeling out of alignment in my relationship…but I don’t know how to reconcile with my partner.”

These feelings can get overwhelming quickly.  And so, I want to introduce to you the idea of doing an alignment cleanse.

Alignment cleansing riffs on my idea of tiny experiments as a way to explore more alignment in your life, and that the biggest realignments happen in the tiniest increments.  Doing an Alignment Cleanse can support you to:


  • Find yourself again.  Though that may sound a little airy-fairy, the truth is that misalignment begins when we start doing things, saying things, agreeing to things, and believing things that are out of integrity.  It doesn’t take long before you can lose where you begin and where the expectations, preferences and beliefs of others begin.  An Alignment Cleanse helps you to realize and take back your own expectations, preferences and beliefs.


  • Learn how to say no.  Many of us reach a state of misalignment because we’ve said a fuck-load of yeses to everyone else but ourselves.  Yes is easier to say, in some ways, because it often offends no one but you, and your autonomy.  The Alignment Cleanse will help you to start saying no to little things so that you can learn how the word tastes and feels in your mouth, and start to like it.  A lot.


Here are some ideas for an Alignment Cleanse:


1.  Declutter your inbox.  Receiving messages in this sacred space from sources you’re no longer interested in hearing from, or, worse, that you outright dislike or disagree with, is out of integrity.  Scroll alllll the way down to the bottom of these inbox marauders and click “unsubscribe.”  (this is another way of saying NO to what you don’t want, which is an integral part of feeling more aligned!)

2.  Get rid of any clothes that do not fit you or don’t make you feel fabulous.  Keeping adornments that no longer look great is out of alignment because every morning when you look in your closet, they subversively represent your desire to be other than who you are right now.  Getting rid of these garments is an exquisite act of self-acceptance; an acknowledgement that the person you are right now is the person you are meant to be.

3.  Think of something you “have” to do this week, but that you don’t want to.  Find a way to gracefully (or not-so-gracefully) outsource it, decline it or defer it.  Don’t be dodgy:  be up front and unapologetic.  And then, with the time you’ve freed up, do something magnificent.

4.  Call someone out / in.  When someone says or does something that offends, annoys or enrages you, say so.  Bonus points if you call someone out for a particularly long-standing egregious behaviour.  This is going to take courage, as do all acts of stating your preferences, your beliefs, and your values.  Start here.

5.  Find some space to do exactly what you want to do.  And do it.  Whether you’re overcome by the desire to walk in the woods, sleep in, bake cookies, or call a friend…just do it.  And then do it again.  And again…and pay attention to how that makes you feel.

6.  Do a social media cleanse.  Just don’t log on.  For a day, for a week, for a month.  You might find yourself amazed by your own thoughts, your own opinions, and the space in your life that you create when you remove one of the most influential opinion-generator / information-overloader in your life.

7.  Go on a learning diet.  Put down the personal development books or the latest pop psych bestseller.  Not unlike going on a social media cleanse, freeing yourself from the consumption of information and truths (or “alternative facts”) generated by others might allow you to realign to your own truth.

The Becoming Podcast has been on a short hiatus while I focus on writing my book, but oh what a comeback episode I have for you!

This month, I spoke to Toko-pa Turner, who many of you may know as the unofficial patron saint of many of my circles and gatherings because of the sheer number of times I’ve quoted from the wisdom of her book, Belonging.

Toko-pa is a Canadian author, teacher, and dreamworker. Blending the mystical teachings of Sufism in which she was raised with a Jungian approach to dreams, she founded The Dream School in 2001, from which thousands of students have graduated. She is the author of the award-winning book, Belonging: Remembering Ourselves Home, which explores the themes of exile and belonging through the lens of dreams, mythology, and nature. This book has resonated for readers worldwide, and has been translated into 10 different languages so far. Her work focuses on the relationship between psyche and nature, and how to follow our inner wisdom to meet with the social, psychological, and ecological challenges of our time.

Here’s some of what Toko-pa and I talk about in this episode:

> The dream that changed Toko-pa’s life, causing her to question her career and, ultimately, her identity

> How we can court our dreams to support us during times of radical transformation – and the reasons so many of us have a hard time remembering and working with what shows up in our dreamscape

> Toko-pa’s perspective on the message of Belonging after the divisiveness our society has experienced in the years since it was published

> What happened for both Toko-pa and I when we fell out of belonging from the ideologies of the “wellness world”

> How to build community when you’re under-resourced

> “The Big Lie” when it comes to belonging, and how we can reclaim a sense of belonging to the greater family of things, as Mary Oliver so famously wrote

Listen to the episode on iTunes


Show Notes

Toko-pa’s Website

Belonging:  Remembering Ourselves Home, Toko-pa’s book

The David Abram video about animism mentioned in the interview

Toko-pa’s self-guided program, Dream Drops

Companion, the program that accompanies Belonging


Also, while you’re at it, if you enjoy The Becoming Podcast, I would be so grateful if you would rate and review, and even subscribe to it on iTunes.  That goes a long way to helping more and more people find and benefit from hearing these interviews!  Thank you so much!